Top Ten Reasons Why Being Bitten on the BUTT by a WASP is a BAD THING
10. Within seconds I knew I was going to be irresistably drawn to blog the whole thing. Let the sniggering commence.
9. The idea that I should check my UNDERWEAR for wasps before I put it on in the morning is scary on so many levels.
8. Dave keeps offering to suck the venom out.
7. My butt hurts.
6. I am outraged that my butt is damaged. I like my butt. I use it a LOT.
5. I wanted to squish the butt-biting wasp, but was foiled by Dave, who captured it and put it outside where it is now free to MENACE OTHER BUTTS.
4. Dave keeps offering to put pressure on the affected area.
3. It turns out that there IS something that more yarn can't fix.
2. OW. And OW.
1. This is where you come in, dear readers. Submit a Number One reason why Being Bitten on the BUTT by a Wasp is a BAD THING. The winner will get a prize!
9. The idea that I should check my UNDERWEAR for wasps before I put it on in the morning is scary on so many levels.
8. Dave keeps offering to suck the venom out.
7. My butt hurts.
6. I am outraged that my butt is damaged. I like my butt. I use it a LOT.
5. I wanted to squish the butt-biting wasp, but was foiled by Dave, who captured it and put it outside where it is now free to MENACE OTHER BUTTS.
4. Dave keeps offering to put pressure on the affected area.
3. It turns out that there IS something that more yarn can't fix.
2. OW. And OW.
1. This is where you come in, dear readers. Submit a Number One reason why Being Bitten on the BUTT by a Wasp is a BAD THING. The winner will get a prize!
posted by Peevish | 8:32 AM
18 Comments:
Number One reason - makes it hard to sit and knit!
Number 1 reason why being bitten on the BUTT by a wasp is bad.
Hmmmmmmmmmm let me think.
You can't sit as easily to KNIT because sitting hurts.
I bet you check your knickers every time you go to put them on for a while in case you find another wasp.
Cathy
Because the lopsided swelling makes your thong bikini look funny?
:)
More yarn might at least give you a softer place to sit - if you don't mind squishing your yarn.
Number one reason is that is that it makes it hard to sit and knit, and sit and eat, and sit and do anything. I rolled over on a spider in my sleep one night. It bit me on the arm and I still check the bed before I get. :)
They might develop a taste for butt and tell their friends!
Because then you have to put up with people making jokes about bees in your bonnet and wasps in your knickers?
It's been a while since I had anything willing to risk death to get into my pants!
And you can't even show off your wound without going X-rated. How unfair is that?
A kitty sitting on a wasp bitten butt will hurt, but will provide excellent compression
it's going to be a great story for work tomorrow!
You know - all those reasons are good (or bad...), esp not being able to sit and knit - but the what I would find the worst - IT HURTS!!!!!
The cheek of it!
#1 reason is that it makes you the butt of all jokes. :-P
Damien
The number one reason has to be:
Because you have to get off your butt and do something other than knit.
:-)
Okay, there is no way my beach brain can top those but ow! poor Peeve.
OW!!!
Because if you were allergic to wasp stings, you would have to choose death over the shame of going to the hospital.
The European Wasp is the sworn enemy of humanity. Sworn Enemy! That freed wasp (never show them any mercy!) is now back at the nest bragging about how she stung you on the butt and getting lots of "give me five" and backslaps from her sisters. The ignominy of it all is your number one reason why this is bad... bad for the cause... bad for all of us.
#1 worst thing ever - The endless jokes you will endure about forgiveness and turning the other cheek.
What is it with Butts this week! I got a burn on my ass from the heating pad, and you got stung by a wasp! Strange things.
You poor thing! Am I allowed to be sympathetic while I snicker behind my hand? I hope your butt feels better soon. Take some Benadryl!
In the immortal words of Bart Simpson "Eat my shorts, not my butt".
Sorry your bottom hurts, babe.
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